By Rabbi Stephanie Kolin

“He was a man with a soft heart. He didn’t care what religion you were. He just invited you in.” These were the words of Imam Akonjee’s son in law, describing the Imam, sharing with us just a bit of how he would remember this kind man. On Monday of this week, I was honored to join the New York Board of Rabbis to visit the home of Imam Akonjee, who was murdered along with his friend Thara Miah on his way home from prayer on August 13. We came to Ozone Park with condolences to share, solidarity in our hearts, and a message that the whole faith community mourns with their family. They opened their home to the love we brought with us, returning our sentiments with their generous spirit of welcome. It could not have been easy to suddenly have a room full of strangers telling them they are not alone in the wake of such personal tragedy, but their dignity and grace was palpable along with their grief.

The Imam’s sons ushered us into their living room and we sat tightly together, rabbis from across the spectrum of Jewish movements, joined also by other interfaith leaders, and a member of the NYPD who has been close to the family since the murders. Like an interfaith shiva call, we sat, we asked questions, we told them their pain mattered to us, we prayed – first in Arabic, a traditional prayer chanted by their NYPD friend, and then in Hebrew – the 23rd Psalm, chanted by Rabbi Angela Buchdahl. We sang, we held one another, we felt our hearts reach for one another. The fact that this may have been the first time the Imam’s young family met Jews and the first time some in our group met Bangladeshi Muslims melted away in the eyes of children and grandchildren who just missed their dad.

The Imam’s oldest son, a 21 year old man with a boy’s face, a Nets cap, and a deep sense of responsibility has left school to take care of his family in the wake of his father’s death. He sits up strong, accepting of this new normal, but the whole room could feel the weight on his shoulders. Rabbi Joe Potasnik and Rabbi Avi Weiss took the boys, now joined by their sisters, by their hands, looked into their eyes, and made sure they knew that this was not the last time we would all be together – that this may be the first visit, but that we want to help in any way we can and that this is the beginning of a relationship, not a one-off in which we disappear back into anonymity with one another. Their embrace melted into a nuzzle, so warm it felt maybe they had known each other since our peoples began as brothers.

There has been no motive assigned to the alleged perpetrator of this crime, but the uptick of hate, fear, and xenophobia in this country is undeniable and unacceptable. We who are people of faith and people who pursue peace, who choose sisterhood and brotherhood over suspicion and enmity will come together to deny bigotry its day. Today, it was in a house of mourning; tomorrow may it be to break bread, learn, share our stories, and be joyful together.